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The present trend for birthday parties are expensive outings to pizza palaces, roller skating parties, bowling parties, and gymnastic parties. These are generally held at institutions, highly structured, expensive and impersonal. Children do enjoy these parties. They look forward to them, they go, and they come home energized, but from personal experience there always seems to be something missing in these parties. In Thomas Moore’s book, Care of the Soul, he expresses the intimacy that is shared when someone is invited into a personal dwelling. A person’s house is a reflection of their inner-workings, and their holistic makeup. Children have a need to express and share themselves through their home, their family, and through their friends. Planning and executing a successful home birthday party can be satisfying to the parent and the child. The party needs to be well planned, the activities should be age appropriate, the structure should have some flexibility, and the child should be involved in all phases of the process for an exciting and fulfilling party.
The party needs to be organized. The successful party is not put together in a week. The process should include time to brainstorm ideas with the child, theme building, development, shopping, and preparations. Let the child express their wishes for their parties. There may be some unreasonable requests that can not be met, but explaining why these options would not add to the enjoyment of the party can help allay disappointment. If the child decides to go with a theme, brainstorm ways of making homemade crafts and decorations to support the theme. In this way, the child feels like a part of the planning and developing of the party, the excitement builds, and the whole family becomes invested in the activity. If finances are tight, it is wise to spread shopping for the party out over several weeks. This will help to spread out the costs, and can make each necessary shopping trip more exciting for the child.
The preparation phase of planning a party can include many different tasks. One task that helps the child show their affection for their friends is making personalized paper hats for each guest. These can be constructed with paper plates or folded construction paper. Add glitter, feathers, beads, and bobbles for flair. Tell the child the names of the children invited, and ask them to design a hat especially for each child. When the children receive their hat they have a sense that this project was a unique effort. Young children enjoy this, or enjoy making their own hats at the party. You can provide materials for hats at a station, and allow the kids to make their hats together.
Another activity is the piñata. This can easily be made by blowing up a balloon, and covering it with newspaper strips dipped in a flour and water mixture. When this dries, the balloon can be popped, and a hollow shell is left. Fill the piñata with candy, snacks, and small toys. Tape over the opening, and paint the piñata in bright attractive colors. Children will take turns hitting the piñata at the party, and will run to collect the spilled goodies. This activity is a good one to share with the child in production, and at the party. Let the child help to build and decorate the piñata, so when the time comes they can proudly join their friends destroying the craft.
These pre-party crafts makes the child feel special about their event. It is important to ask them what games they might like to play at their party. One game that my daughter shared with me she learned from television. This activity gained from the Dragon Tales series involved turning on music and having the children dance. When the music was turned off all the children had to freeze. As the children moved, they were eliminated from the game. The child who remained frozen the longest was the winner.
Another child inspired game for me was the treasure hunt. I altered it slightly to make it a non-competitive hunt. Instead of presenting the children with gift bags full of favors, I gave them empty bags, and told them what they should have in them. Each child was required to search for their party gifts. The children were instructed not help the others when they had filled their bags with the requisite items unless asked. This turned out to be a cooperative interactive game that everyone was happy with in the end.
It is good to have structure for the party. But allowing the children to play with the new gifts, and giving them time to enjoy each other should be included in the structure. Plan alternate activities for a party that is to include outdoor games, and conversely be open to going outside even though the party is planned for winter months. If everyone’s heart is on being in the beautiful weather, the party should be flexible enough to make people happy.
All the activities mentioned should be used with children eight-years-old or younger. Make sure you prepare yourself for your child’s development. At eight years old and beyond, the child begins fighting for independence, and parties for older children are less parent oriented. These older children need planning, and preparation too. Their parties might include c.d.’s, pizza, movies, and dancing. There still needs to be parental interaction, but this age group might prefer adults keep a greater distance.
The perfect party does not come in a planned package, or exist in a specific location. The party that is tailored to the needs of the parent and the child will be successful. Take the time to plan a home party, and enjoy the tasks involved in planning, as well as the home-based satisfying outcome.
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